Digital Underground once opined that the Humpty Dance was your chance to do the hump. I posit that every Wednesday is your chance to get your Empire Hump on. We’ve had an exciting week in OSU athletics already and with the Olympic Swimming Trials currently underway, the Buckeyes have a chance to make this week even better for the Scarlet and Gray faithful.
But first, allow me to interject a short history lesson about Wednesday. Named for the Roman God of Debauchery, the fourth day of the Gregorian week was originally meant to be a day of rest to honor Wedney. It quickly turned into the worst day of the week upon the creation of the first labor union, the United Pyramid Workers, Local 001. The UPW lobbied the Roman government for increased wages (from a pittance to a half farthing), shorter work hours (from “oh my god, my back and feet are nothing but actual blisters” to “80 hours a week isn’t ALL bad”), and improved working conditions (from “please, not the whip again” to “thank you Praetor, may I have another?”).
Thusly, the Hump Day was borne into existence. Halfway from the weekend to the weekend, Wednesday serves as your speedbump to temporary, fleeting freedom.
That said, Ring The Damn Bell.
There are few things more satisfying than achieving your dreams. Darron Lee always wanted to suit up in the Scarlet and Gray, but had to prove himself. The ATH from New Albany, OH made a trip to a camp earlier in the year, but failed to come away with an offer. He was not about to let the same thing happen again. Lining up primarily with the DBs in this past weekend’s camp, Lee finally found his niche.
Yesterday, his dream came true. Just minutes after getting the offer from Ohio State, Lee called Coach Meyer up and committed to Ohio State. Darron held offers from quite a few different schools, including Illinois, West Virginia, and every other Ohio school, but was waiting on the one on the Woody Hayes Athletic Department letterhead. When he finally got it, his grandmother was reported as telling him (this may be a slight paraphrase):
“You better get on the phone and commit!”
Another top 5 performance
After placing 2nd last year in the Learfield Director’s Cup, Ohio State turned in another monster performance, coming in fourth behind perennial powerhouse Stanford, then Florida, and UCLA. This means, of course, that nachos are free in the quad until noon with any expired BuckID. (not really, or really?)
The Director’s Cup is an ongoing tally of all varsity level sports and the success thereof. In the entire history of the Cup, only one team other than Stanford has won. That was North Carolina, in 1993. Stanford finished second. Congratulations to the Cardinal on keeping the Stanford Cup in Palo Alto another year, but especially congrats to every single Ohio State athlete that contributed to the great standing that the Buckeyes were able to achieve this year. Seriously though, Stanford never even gets the Cup out of the case. They bring a replica.
Vargo-Brown gets a promotion
Holly Vargo-Brown, formerly an assistant coach with the OSU Synchronized Swimming team, has been promoted to Head Coach. Vargo-Brown will be just the 3rd coach in the 36 year history of the program, a history that has seen a whole lot of hardware come home to Columbus. Holly is no stranger to the big chair, though.
When now retired Head Coach Linda Lichter-Witter was assisting the US National Team in 2004 in Athens at the Olympics, Vargo-Brown took over and proceeded to win the program’s 5th straight collegiate title and get herself named the National Coach of the Year in the process. All said, this hire was a no brainer, as Holly was as “coach-in-waiting” as anyone can possibly be without being named Muschamp.
In space, no one can hear you scream. Or fart. Just sayin’