Ohio State Football Week 6: 10 Things to Hate about Nebraska

On October 3, 2012 by Dan

It’s like if Chucky from Child’s Play had a baby with one of those inflatable Lawn Santas

It’s that time of the week again, time to dig deep,  Embrace the Hate and run down 10 things to hate about this week’s opponent: The Nebraska Cornhuskers.

1. Booted From the AAU – For the last couple of decades, Nebraska had been struggling to keep its status as a member of the Association of American Universities. It kept it, though. And that membership was a big reason that the Big 10 let the school join the conference. Then, a year later, they lost it. Here are some more details:

Nebraska successfully retained its AAU membership after a 2000 challenge. This provided Nebraska with an advantage when the Big Ten was looking to expand in 2010, as all of its members at that time were AAU members. Nebraska Chancellor Harvey Perlman said. “I doubt that our application would’ve been accepted had we not been a member of the [AAU].”[However, in 2011, after an extended campaign to retain its membership and a close, contentious vote, Nebraska became the only institution to be removed from the AAU membership by a vote of the membership (a few other institutions had voluntarily resigned.)

That’s right. The only school ever to be voted out. So now the B1G is stuck with a bunch of cornhusking dummies. Thanks so much guys. I know that some of you Nebraska fans might be tempted to point out why the school was removed. Please don’t, it would ruin my narrative.

2. We had em, and we let ‘em off the hook – It was ridiculous. The Buckeyes stormed into Lincoln and set the stadium on fire. The Walrus was pulling great call after great call out of his bucket, and the young offense was dropping points left and right. At one point the Buckeyes had a 27-6 lead. Then, it all fell apart. Braxton Miller hurt his ankle and Joe Bauserman entered the game. The Blonde bomber then proceeded to drop Bauserbombs all over the stadium. And when I say all over the stadium, I mean it. The upper deck, the concession stand, the mens room, footballs were flying everywhere. He must’ve thrown one toward the Buckeye defense too, because after Miller went out, it imploded. What seemed like moments later, the 21 point lead had been replaced by a 7-point deficit. It was miserable. It was horrible to watch. The Huskers must suffer. This is the last time Ohio State and Nebraska will meet until the 2017 season. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want them walking around with bragging rights for nearly half a decade.

3. Bo Pelini Joke – I put this in here to remind myself to include a joke about Bo Pelini in the article. The problem was, I couldn’t figure out what to say because there are too many choices: his temper, his press conferences, his rejection of his Ohio State roots. I don’t know where to begin. Instead, I’m just going to link you to this wonderful Bo Pelini photo gallery from the Dark Side.

4. T-Magic – Seriously? T-Magic? That’s his nickname. Orhian “Short-Ass-Braids” Johnson thinks that sounds ridiculous

5. My 10th Grade Latin Teacher – I’m not going to mention his name, because that would be weird. But my 10th grade Latin teacher was a Nebraska graduate. He was actually a pretty good teacher, but between teaching us about sum, es, est, sumus, estis, and sunt (see and he thought I didn’t pay attention), he attempted to indoctrinate us with pro-Nebraska, anti-B1G propaganda. What’s important to remember is that this would’ve been around 1999, so the Buckeyes were in the late stages of the Cooper era and the Huskers were just a few years removed from Tom Osborne’s 1997 championship. My only regret is that I didn’t take his course during the Bill Callahan era.

6. Harvey Perlman Remember a few months back when conference commissioners and university Presidents were working diligently to bring us a long-awaited college football playoff. Well, Nebraska Chancellor Harvey Perlman was the fly in the ointment, the curmudgeon standing on his proverbial front porch telling everyone to “get off of his lawn.” Perlman was steadfastly anti-playoff and was doing everything within his power to prevent the current system from being implemented. Fortunately, Perlman was ultimately ignored, and in 2014 the playoff will be here at last.

7. Trev Alberts – Before there was Mark May, there was Nebraska graduate Trev Alberts: the original Buckeye hater. I’ll never forget watching college football live during the lead-up to the Ohio State vs. Kansas State Fiesta Bowl. I’m paraphrasing here, but “I’m only going to guarantee one game,” said Alberts. “That’s Kansas State beating Ohio State. The Buckeyes just don’t have the speed to match up. Herp derp de derp.” Of course, Ohio State won that game. I turned on ESPN after the game hoping for an Alberts mea culpa, but it never came. A few years later, Alberts was fired from ESPN. Apparently Alberts skipped some appearances because “ he did not want to “play second fiddle” to the more prominent cast of College GameDay, Chris Fowler, Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso.

Nebraska, you created this monster and I’m holding you personally responsible.

8. They’re Eddie George haters –  It’s been almost two decades but Husker fans still haven’t gotten over Eddie George beating out Tommie Frazier for the Heisman trophy. When George headed to Nebraska to cover a game earlier this season, he was bombarded by tweets asking him if he was there to return the trophy to Frazier. Ok, that’s kind of funny. But still, you don’t bad-mouth our Eddie. Suffer, you must.

9. The BTN keeps trying to insert them into the Big 10’s past – Did you catch the “Big 10 Icon” special on Tom Osborne? You know, Tom Osborne, the guy who never coached a game in the Big 10. How about the rebroadcast of the Miami/Nebraska bowl game from when Nebraska was a Big 8 team? For some reason the Big 10 network insists on pretending that the Huskers have been in the conference since its inception. I don’t know if it’s Nebraska’s fault, but it’s ridiculous and I’m blaming them anyway.

10. Look up there in the upper right-hand corner of this article. See that thing? It’s going to be haunting your dreams isn’t it? That’s Nebraska’s mascot. They invite that thing to games…on purpose.

113 comments
Michael
Michael

Chris! Go to your room young man and stop squeezing your zits. You sound constipated also. Learn some class from NU football generosity and appreciation! Ohio State has more talent and in college football, the talent and athleticism overpowers. you a hater!

Husker fan with a se
Husker fan with a se

Good stuff guys. I clicked the article thinking it would anger me, but picked up on the satire instantly. I will come back in coming weeks to hear your takes on the rest of your opponents. GBR

Jeff
Jeff

Oh and the smiling testicle that you call Brutus if better???

Dan
Dan

Absolutely.

buckeyesfuckguys
buckeyesfuckguys

I think Lawrence Phillips and Maurice clarett need to settle this pissing match for the pre game show....

Jessica Francis
Jessica Francis

As a student of the University of Nebraska at Lincoln I'm offended. This is simply sad and pathetic. I would never write something like this about another school nor would I encourage a fellow student to either. I am proud to be a Husker and more proud to say that we as Husker fans WILL take the high road. I implore you to read this and think twice before spouting off about Nebraska again. http://www.landgrantholyland.com/2012/10/1/344134...

Ryan
Ryan

And I implore you to read this one... maybe to get a sense of our true nature over here. Trust me no one who writes for this site will be publicly degrading Nebraska fans tomorrow. Just good fun here on Buckeye Empire. http://buckeyeempire.com/darkside/2012/06/11/embr...

Bo Fondled Ndamukong
Bo Fondled Ndamukong

Dear Jessica, I first must commend you on writing a fine comment and making sure the grammar, along with punctuation, was correct. The attention to detail as you have displayed has not been common place within the comments above yours from others. Now, with that being said I kindly ask you to take a further look around this website. Notice the Ohio State passion and devotion to the institution and it's football team. Notice the use of Ohio State chants, slogans, and word choice throughout. Notice how this website is devoted to THE Ohio State University and only solely to. Also, the disclaimer at the bottom should give you another clue as to the allegiances this website carries: "This site is strictly for informational and entertainment purposes and is in no way affiliated with The Ohio State University or the National College Athletic Association. It also claims no rights to the trademarks of The Ohio State University, the NCAA or LucasFilms. Michigan still sucks" I think we can all agree here, no matter if you shuck corn or if you wear nuts around your neck, one thing is clear and that is Michigan truly DOES suck and always will. But also, sweet Jessica, this is an Ohio State website. There have been zero notions to the fact this site is neutral in any way and quite frankly I wouldn't want it so. Did you come to this site expecting to see objective reporting and writing? Did you come to this site expecting to see a Nebraska fan section? Did you come to this site to try and persuade Ohio State fans (this site is for them, keep in mind) to act in a certain way? Whatever your intentions are, and or were, do understand we Buckeyes don't quite give a shit what you have to say. This is a Buckeyes website and not the NECGA (you should know what that is) offering drought assistance. Take what you read here with a grain of salt, laugh it off as other Husker fans have been able to do, and as we Buckeyes are doing tonight, have happy thoughts towards your team for the battle ahead tomorrow! I'm Veronica Corningstone, and thanks for stopping by!

Husker Girl Forever
Husker Girl Forever

I take offense to #7. Trev Alberts was born in Iowa. That being said, we shouldn't be held fully accountable for that tool. #10. Yes, Lil'Red is a little creepy...but this comes from a guy whose mascot is a nut? I used to live in Ohio and I flew my Husker flag high and proud...until someone stole it. (It was no doubt one of those pesky Michigan State fans who lost the Alamo Bowl that year to...Nebraska.) Funny article, Dan! Good luck, Ohio. GO BIG RED!

WhoGivesACrap
WhoGivesACrap

I live in NE but don't get all bunged up about the Huskers. And, FTR, Tommie Frazier is a major douche and all he deserves is a punch is the nuts.

me
me

http://www.landgrantholyland.com/2012/10/1/344134... try it this way next time. This is why we are proud to be Nebraskans.

Chris Holloway
Chris Holloway

You'll notice that nowhere in his article did Dan denigrate the Nebraska fans (other than taking a shot at a few #TommyFrazier4Heisman diehards). We think you're the best bunch of fans in the land outside of Columbus. I hope that every single Cornhusker in the city for the game has an amazing experience and comes away from the game, win or lose, with a good feeling about how they were treated by Buckeyes.

Dan
Dan

Seconded. If you're on campus, come find me and I'll buy you a beer. I'll be the guy in the red shirt.

Nate
Nate

As a Husker fan, I thought that article was hilarious! I agree 100% with the writer for number 6, 9, and 10, especially 10. Lil Red is creepy.

Gloe
Gloe

NU Academic All-Americans: 294 (leading the nation yet again). The closest B1G school to us is Penn St with 173. Ohio St has 110....Hey lookit thar! I used that thar Internet to find me sum o dem facts! Huck yuck!

Nate
Nate

Lets just call it how it is. Pathetic. It's sad that you have to run down your opponents to make you feel better about yourself. As if it really means two shits anyways. And if this is a testament of what Ohio State is really like to it's opponents, maybe I'll swing by one of your pawnshops and pick up some Ohio State gear one of your players unloaded for some quick cash so i don't have to listen to you idiots.

Chris Holloway
Chris Holloway

I'm not sure how picking up some pawned items will allow you to "not listen to [us] idiots" anymore. You don't have to listen and you don't have to read. I appreciate that you did, but no one is forcing you stay at a site that has, as its motto, "Embrace The Hate." Thanks for coming, Nate. Go Buckeyes.

Nancy
Nancy

its okay hate all u want,,,, but when ur here ur treated great, we have great fans... we go to another state we are treated like shit (huh Colorado!!) dont be hatin cause we beat u last year! yeah its football and we stand by OUR TEAM and FANSits been said that NEBRASKA has the beeam but we try to treat u right when ur here is true, we may not like ur tst fans which

junior
junior

this was hilarious. well done, sir. sincerely, a husker with a sense of humor.

Huskerfan
Huskerfan

I second that. Lighten up and enjoy a satirical blog post!

Jhallen
Jhallen

This article is stupid.. Its put together like a 4th grader made it up last second for a hw assignment. My dog could roll around in shit and leave a better article scattered on my kitchen floor.

Dan
Dan

You should have it do that and post in on youtube. I'd click the hell out of that.

Andrea
Andrea

You forgot something, Nebraska has the best fans in all of College football! We will greet you with a smile and shake your hand win or lose. We will say good he, and compliment your strengths. We would never stoop so low to intentionally bag on another team because its just bad sportsmanship. We are Nebraska, and we are Proud. So why don't we just save this for the field and we will see who is better. You've got a good team, but we've got a better one. We will prove that on Saturday!

kp7066
kp7066

All have to reply toward the Cornhusking Dummies comment is I am proud that my Dad Grew the corn,I husked it and that t I bet the guy who wrote the article has enjoyed an ear of corn on his plate a time or two!! I am proud of my home state and Go BIG Red!!

Gloe
Gloe

I love how he attacks our intelligence. NU Academic All-Americans: 294 (leading the nation yet again). The closest B1G school to us is Penn St with 173. Ohio St has 110...He may want to get all of his facts before he starts bashing on other schools because he sounds like a moron. It really doesn't help when Ohio St players come out with tweets like this... http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1360075-cardal...

TJ
TJ

nebraska/miami game, nebraska was a member of the big 8. big 12 minus 2 wasn't formed until 1996. a little research goes a long way. btw, buckeye fans, good luck. should be a good game.

Rachel
Rachel

All I have to say is GGGGOOOOO BBBBBIIIIGGGGGG RRRREEEEDDDD!!!!!!

Angel
Angel

Ok the chucky santa joke was funny, lil red had to be used after some political crap about herbie eatting long horns and buffalos though our only option was a gender neutral blow up doll lol as for other statements the only big 12 rival to follow us was Iowa and lets face facts they're not worth having a "rivalry" with, so bring on a new rival, but remember to ask missouri who ended up with their prized bell ;-) good luck peas we'll see you in the soup bowl ;-) no really good luck ps how bout we trade Martinez back and forth lol

Pilkerz
Pilkerz

He was backing up NU in a way. I don't get why you're freaking out. Some fans really scare the shit out of me. It's a fucking football game. At the end of the day it doesn't matter who wins or loses because 10 years from now no one will give a shit.

Jeremy Lowe
Jeremy Lowe

Well, I live in Lincoln and our last National Championship was in 1997, much more than 10 years ago. And I still give a shit. It's a matter of pride in Nebraska. I guarantee you will never see some 'top 10 reasons to hate (insert opponent)' blogs from anyone here. Our fans applaud the away teams after the game. When we lose!

honest
honest

That's not true.....you might but you can't say "we" Nebraska fans are way to overboard about a college football team.

Carrie Janello
Carrie Janello

So I don't really understand the pathetic fan bases that feel the need to seek out other teams' blog sites, read their posts, and feel the need to make smack-talk comments about the articles. If you come to a Buckeye blog site and expect to read anything that isn't pro-Ohio State then you are clearly delusional. This is our house ... just like the sanctuary your team will be playing in this coming Saturday is our house. And we protect our house! Our team is fired up for the game & out for revenge, but the LAST thing a visiting fan base should want is to piss off Buckeye Nation. We are the most powerful, most popular, and largest fan base on the planet. Deal With It! GO BUCKS!!

Kurt Rohren
Kurt Rohren

Good stuff. Cracked me up. I hate our stupid mascot too. Go Big Red!!

Huskerman Brandon
Huskerman Brandon

Very well written Dan....kinda Funny too! 1) 'Booted From the AAU' Dan,We are not a piece of meat. You (or the B1G for that matter) didn't want us for the AAU rating at the time. You wanted us for the brand of football we bring. Now I feel like a sleezy picture on a wall calendar! 2. 'We had em, and we let ‘em off the hook' Dan, Similar to Eddie George Haters. It’s been almost a year but OSU fans still haven’t gotten over Nebraska beating out OSU for the Victory. Make any excuse you want, the bottom line: Nebraska 34 OSU 27. 3. 'Bo Pelini Joke – I put this in here to remind myself to include a joke about Bo Pelini in the article. The problem was, I couldn’t figure out what to say because there are too many choices: his temper, his press conferences, his rejection of his Ohio State roots. I don’t know where to begin.' Dan, the only place I can disagree on are his OSU roots. He is very proud of where he played. 4. 'T-Magic – Seriously? T-Magic?' Dan, if you want, I am sure we can find a local tattoo parlor that will put T-Magic across your bicep....unless of course you'd prefer D-Magic! And I'm sure we can get all this done for the low price of free! 5. 'My 10th Grade Latin Teacher' – Dan, your Latin teacher was a smart man!!! And thank goodness you had him in '99 and you didn't have to suffer in the era we call the Calla....I still to this day cannot say it! 6. 'Harvey Perlman' Dan, don't think I can disagree with you. As a matter of fact, I will add to your statement...Harvey Perlman hired then AD Steve Pederson who then fired Frank Solich after a 9-3 season (the reasoning for Coach Solich getting fired is another argument within itself) only to hire this Coach named Bill Callaaaaaa I still can't bring myself to say it.... 7. 'Trev Alberts' – Dan say what you want about his broadcasting career...but his work that he is doing right now at UNO (University of Nebraska-Omaha) is pretty awesome. 8. 'They’re Eddie George haters' – Dan, while Eddie George slithered away with the Heisman Trophy, lets ask Tommie if he would trade (I don't know this for a fact, but Mr. George may be on some of these First Teams as well, which still makes Tommie better....Eddie can't run the ball if Tommie doesn't hand it off or throw it to him): • Football Writers 1995 First Team All American • Walter Camp 1995 First Team All American • Associated Press 1995 First Team All American • United Press International 1995 First Team All American • AFCA 1995 First Team All American • Johnny Unitas Golden Arm Award 1995 • Sporting News Offensive Player of the Year 1995 • TD Club of Columbus Quarterback of the Year 1995 • Big Eight Offensive Player of the Year 1995 • 1996 Fiesta Bowl Most Valuable Player • 1994 and 1995 Orange Bowl Most Valuable Player • 1992 Big Eight Freshman of the Year • Sport magazine Top 10 Players of the Century Oh yeah, I forgot to mention 4 straight Conference Titles, played in 3 straight National Championship games, and winning Back-2-Back National Titles....Yep Eddie, You can keep your Heisman (although it would be nice to vote every year for the winner and go to NYC)!!! 9. 'The BTN keeps trying to insert them into the Big 10’s past' – Dan, what's amazing here is Did you catch the “Big 10” in 1 year in football gained 43 more Conference Championships and 5 more National Championships? You know, Nebraska, the team who never played a game in the Big 10. I wonder how this works though, Nebraska and Michigan split the Title in '97, does the B1G now say, 'hey we were that good we won 2 Titles in 1 year-YAY US!!! Side note-"How about the rebroadcast of the Miami/Nebraska bowl game from when Nebraska was a Big 12 team?" Are you speaking of the '94 Orange Bowl? If so, Nebraska was a member of the Big 8, just sayin'! I don’t know if it’s Nebraska’s fault, but it’s ridiculous and I’m blaming OSU anyway. 10. 'Look up there in the upper right-hand corner of this article. See that thing? It’s going to be haunting your dreams isn’t it?' Dan, the one thing we can totally agree on! CAN'T stand Lil' Red! But we need to remember that there is a living human being in there. After he got fired, he loved Nebraska so much, he didn't want to leave. And the only way he could show his face around here was to be in hiding. His name is Bill Callaaaaaaa.......and I STILL can't say that name!!! Again Dan, fun article and I hope you and the readers enjoy my little spin! Best of luck to you and OSU Saturday. Go Big Red and GO HUSKERS!!!

Grant Edgell
Grant Edgell

This absolutely classic work from Brandon.

FC Fresh
FC Fresh

Atta boy, Brandon. Now there's is a true, educated, thick-skinned Husker. You will find that the Big Red fans who actually travel to Columbus will be this knowledgeable, witty, and gracious. Well-written article, guys. Most OSU and NU fans truly understand that THIS is what makes sports so fun and exciting. GBR

Dan
Dan

Thanks to you and to the rest of the Huskers that "get it" with this article. I'm looking forward to meeting some of Husker Nation tomorrow afternoon!

Husker Fan
Husker Fan

Brandon gets it. Funny stuff from Dan and Brandon.

WVaBuckeye
WVaBuckeye

can you lock down the comments now!? Brandon just put the Cherry on top! Great stuff everybody

Dan
Dan

Haha reading this made writing the article even more worth it! Great stuff. I apologize for using the Ca****-word. it won't happen again.

Ryan
Ryan

Now THIS we can appreciate! Thanks Brandon for doing the right thing and firing back with a well-done rebuttal!

Backwoods Husker add
Backwoods Husker add

7a another reason to hate Trev Alberts (Nebraska fans included(even though he was a great player and roll model while at Nebraska) specially those partial to the UNO Mavericks) he played a major part in shutting down UNO's football program... Sure they weren't DIV I or a prominent force on the field, still a guy who made his mark playing football for the University of Nebraska had the audacity to cut the football program( AND the wrestling program which they were fairly decent in) I mean seriously... I am just SO happy he wasn't ever considered for our AD job. So there is another legitimate reason to despise Trev. And yes Tommie got robbed, then again die hard Nebraska fans will believe Suh was robbed as well..... Atleast Eddie George had a career and made a name for himself in the NFL can't say the same for Tommie unfortunately he wasn't even DRAFTED! To finish second in the heisman race and not get drafted granted the blood clots had something to do with that.... I just wish we could have seen the type of NFL career Brooke Berringer would have had, had he not died in that plane crash! Best of luck to ya this weekend and "may the odds be ever in your favor" but fall to the scarlet and cream anyways. GBR

WVaBuckeye
WVaBuckeye

LMAO! snicker snicker I still cannot type. I see a picture of Husker fans with the word S-U-C-K-E-R stamped across their foreheads. I bet HSN is a hoot in Nebraska and probably very, very rich

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