Ohio State Football Week 9: 10 Things to Hate about Penn State

On October 24, 2012 by Dan

I don’t even know…

It’s that time of the week again, time to dig deep, Embrace the Hate and run down 10 things to hate about this week’s opponent: The Penn State Nittany Lions. Sure the Lions have the best wrestling and volleyball teams in the country. Sure what its students do each year with THON is incredible. We’re not concerned with that, though. Today, it’s all about the bad. A quick disclaimer: As you will see, certain topics were intentionally avoided. Please do so in the comments as well.

1. We’re Their Rival, but They’re not Really Ours – All week long there has been a palpable sense of excitement in Happy Valley. Paternoville Nittanyville has more campers today than at any point in its history. Players and coaches are telling the Media how big this game is for the team. This really is the Nittany Lions’ bowl game.

Here’s the thing: If you had asked me before the season, I would’ve but this game 5th on the Ohio State  schedule as far as importance goes. While we’re Penn State’s biggest rival, they’re our 3rd biggest at best. It’s nice that they care so much about us, but they should really shoot for a team like Wisconsin that doesn’t already have a real rival.

2. Paternoville Nittanyville – Speaking of Nittanyville, what some see as a great college tradition, I see as an inefficient way to seat students. Instead of doing it the sensible way, in groups by seniority, Penn State students shack up in tents for days on end all in the hope of being 10 rows closer to Matt McGloins beautiful red locks. If it really wanted to gain a home field advantage, Penn State would seat the Nittanyville students directly behind the visitors’ bench. By the end of the week, those kids smell so bad that even the Occupy Wall Street guys don’t want to be within one hundred yards of them.

3. The “Clap” – I hate to keep harping on the same point, but did you know that Penn State fans are so concerned about this week’s game that they’ve developed a devious plan that will render the Ohio State offense ineffective? What is it? Well, they’re going to clap. The goal is to throw off the Ohio State offense by preventing the players from hearing the “clap” Braxton Miller does before each play to signal that he is ready for the Center to snap the ball. Of course, the clap has nothing to do with the snap count–the center handles that, don’t tell this to the Penn State fans. I’d hate to ruin their fun.

4. Mauti Comments – By now you’ve probably heard Penn State linebacker Mike Mauti’s comments comparing the Ohio State and Penn State violations. Right or wrong, it’s probably not the wisest thing to throw stones from a house made of brittle, brittle glass.

5. At one Point in its History, Penn State was a High School.  It’s true, It’s true. When Penn State was founded in 1855, it was known as the Farmers’ High School of Pennsylvania. In fact, it wasn’t until seven years later that the college was called a college. In 1862 the school changed its name to “The Agricultural College of Pennsylvania, a name it would keep until 1875.

6. Matt McGloin is a Ginger. Gingers have no souls. They are not to be trusted. Yeah, I know..whatever.

7. Their 2 Percenters are AWFUL – I won’t judge their whole fanbase. I know many who are great dudes. And I know that every school has their “2-percenters,” that ignorant segment of the fanbase that give the rest a bad name. But it’s hard not to watch this video, count the number of people who threw beer at the Ohio State fan (full cans, not cups) and not just shake your head at the ignorance.

8. The Whole State is Afraid of Ohio Football –  As you know, in these columns we hold schools responsible for the actions of their state. Well, for those who follow recruiting, the Big 33 football game has been a very fun tradition for the last few years. Each season, the best Ohio high school players face off against Pennsylvania’s best in a grudge match. It’s a series that Ohio has dominated lately, going 4-1 in the last five meetings including last year’s dramatic come-from-behind victory.

Well, as of today the series is over. Penn State has pegged Maryland to replace Ohio in the game. I’m assuming Rhode Island was already booked. A reason for the change hasn’t been announced, so we have to assume it’s because the entire state is scurred.

9. Paul Pozluszny Robbed A.J.Hawk of his rightful Butkus and Bednarik awards. Despite being the Lombardi Award and Jack Lambert Award winner in 2005, A.J. Hawk was denied the Butkus  and Bednarik awards, which went to PSU’s Pozluszny. It was a robbery that would’ve made Jesse James proud. Fortunately, Hawk got the last laugh as he was drafted fifth overall while Posluszny slipped to the second round. Hawk also has a Superbowl ring. Poz? Well, he plays for the Jaguars.

10. Matt Millen – Man, I know he was a good player, but what he did to the Detroit Lions should have been a felony. Then there’s his broadcast career….

 

1 comments
TheEdge
TheEdge

Thank you Dan for keeping the fun above the table! The video in #7 could have probably been filmed in Wisky but no it was in Nittanyville. They cannot compare to THE Ohio State University but will do everything to make us believe they are equals and we have a rivalry. Really? Really?? Great start to a fun weekend. Thank you and the entire Buckeye Empire Staff one of which was finally released from California. You go Chase!

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