Week one of college football is in the books and the only thing we’ve really learned is that Johnny Manziel is still just as big a douche if he only plays in the 2nd half of games. You can’t really blame him with all those guys on Rice asking him for an autograph. You know there’s no room in those uniforms for a wallet, and we know he only takes cash. Johnny though, he’s a thinker. He was keen to their ways and told those charity cases how he felt.
“YO MAN I DON’T SIGN NO AUTOGRAPHS FOR FREE, GET YOUR FREELOADIN’ ASSES BACK OVER THERE TO CHINA, WE DON’T EAT THAT STUFF IN TEXAS. WE EAT BEEF, A REAL MAN’S FOOD, NOT THAT RICE STUFF.” - Johnny Football… probably
Unfortunately for Johnny the officials had no choice but to throw a flag, as he didn’t specify Texas raised cattle in his statement, and could have easily been promoting a competing beef producing state. The NCAA is looking into if their profits will suffer from Johnny possibly endorsing another cattle farmer.
The Buckeyes came out to start the season looking like a well oiled offensive machine, only to grind to a rusty, Bollman-esq halt after the first quarter. Urban decided to go for 2 after both of the Buckeyes’ first two touchdowns, raising the question from many of just how far he will go to bring down the sanctity of college athletics with his devilish ways. The Buckeyes were outscored in the final 3 quarters 20-17 by Buffalo, which apparently has the media up in arms. Surprise surprise, people aren’t happy with the way Ohio State won by 20, and the Buckeyes have dropped to 3rd in the AP poll. Luckily the last time the AP mattered in week 2 was the same time Michigan’s July recruiting classes and September Heisman winners were announced. Look for the defense to have a major improvement this week as we get CJ Barnett back from injury along with Bradley Roby who served a longer suspension for an incident without charges than that of LSU’s running back who has to alert neighbors when he moves into the neighborhood, and isn’t allowed within 100 yards of a middle school.
The offense should have no trouble improving against SDSU as the Aztecs gave up 40 points in a loss to FCS school Eastern Illinois. Hopefully we’ll see a little more consistency in the offensive line, as seeing Braxton on the run and going down with cramps as often as he did is likely to kill half the state due heart attack before week 6. SDSU’s QB passed for 318 yards in the loss, but the defense could have their hands full, literally, with balls thrown by him. Dingwell tossed 4 interceptions and completed only 27 of 63 passes to arrive at that yardage. Hopefully Roby can get his season back on track with a pick 6 in his opening game.
Not surprisingly Mark May said something stupid about the Buckeyes again, which reminds me…
Finally it should be said that the Buckeyes may drop again in the rankings after this week even with a win, assuming that Clemson keeps up their winning ways. Don’t let this ruffle your feathers Buckeye fans, as it is a long season and they still have plenty of chances to Clemson away their season. Realize that we will be met with as much, or more, scrutiny than last season, as this year it really counts. Also remember that we are in the final year of the BCS, and that AP ranking means not one damn thing towards the BCS ranking. So settle in for the long haul here, and worry about that type of thing around midway through the season. Unless of course you like your blood pressure like LSU likes their players… high.